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The Nine of Wands Tarot Card Meaning

What does the Nine of Wands Mean in a Tarot Reading for Love?

The Nine of Wands for a love or relationship Tarot query doesn’t tend to have the best connotations (Upright or Reversed). Just as the image on the card is of a tough ‘battler’ the Nine of Wands tells you that you will or have experienced much ‘ongoing love’ upheaval. That struggle could represent arguments with a spouse or troubles in even attracting a soul-mate.
All is not lost however, the Nine of Wands is a battler, even if success is not in sight. This card is up for the long haul. Also, the exact meaning of the card can depend on the subtleties of the question you asked, and the object of that question.


​That's the 'short answer'. For a more in-depth examination of what the Ten of Wands might mean to you (including 2 card combinations), any potential pitfalls, and how to make the best of the situation... read on...

But first, If you could take a few minutes and tell me what is the single biggest Tarot challenge that you’re struggling with right now… a) it would mean the world to me and b), most importantly, I’ll be able to use that information to adapt the way I build this website.
You're under no obligation to fill out the survey below, and can quite easily scroll down to learn in-depth the meaning of the Nine of Wands on the web-page below. But... if you do answer at least the first 4 questions of the survey, then you will be eligible for a 30% discount on my Email Tarot Reading Service.. Thank you.

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Nine of Wands Key Themes:
Upright themes:
Ongoing battle or struggle, persistence, fighting your corner, courage, persevering against the odds,  drained, wounded, inner strength,  defence, stamina, protecting what’s important, vigilance, boundaries, relationship arguments, too occupied for love, prepared, fortified
Reversed themes:
Ongoing battle or struggle, overwhelmed, paranoia, too defensive, feeling defeated, close to collapse, feel failure, stubborn, suspicious, argumentative, no compromise, feeling a martyr, withdrawal, unprotected, dropping guard, lack of courage, unprepared, weak

Nine of Wands Card Image:
In the Rider Waite deck we see a wounded man, holding a stave (wand), standing ready, and with a look of weary determination on his face. There is no indication of a finish line, or journey in this image. There is the sense of someone with their back to a wall (of wands) who has to keep fighting (and is prepared to). Although, if you notice, the bottom of the image shows this card is a ‘stage card’.
A stage card in the Rider Waite Deck is one where the protagonist (the man holding the wand, in this case) appears to be on a platform or stage in the foreground, and the rest of the image lies above this blank space.
A Stage Card can indicate that the situation is not quite as it seems. That the protagonist is ‘acting’ or perhaps ‘over dramatizing’ some of what occurs
.
King of Wands
By Authorship: Arthur Edward Waite, Pamela Coleman Smith was the artist and worked as an artist 'for hire.' Waite was the copyright holder and he died in 1942. - This image scanned by Holly Voley, PD-US, https://en.wikipedia.org/w/index.php?curid=31022019
​Nine of Wands Tarot Relationship & Love Questions
On this web-page I give potential meanings to all sorts of love and relationship questions, which you might ask (and where a Nine of Wands is drawn). However which sorts of questions should you ask?
I think the best approach is to stop viewing the Tarot as an accurate predictor of the future, and more a way to look inward and give you insight and ideas.
Therefore, yes/no questions like ‘will I get over my soulmate’ are not so healthy for you as ‘how can I best get over X’.
Similarly, ‘when will I meet my soulmate’, will not be so useful to you as ‘What can I do to find True Love?’
Also, asking questions about yourself will give you more options to take action than questions about others. So ‘Is X attracted to me?’ will not be so effective in improving your life as ‘what can I do to help X be more interested in me?’
Still, for entertainment purposes, I give possible answers to all sorts of questions below:
​


Upright Nine of Wands meaning for questions concerning Existing Relationships
If the question to the Tarot specifically relates to the past or future, then the answer will mean for those times too. But for the sake of brevity I’ll generally write as if the question is for the ‘present’. Also, the explanation given here is mostly worded as if it relates to you. However, if the question to the Tarot related to someone else’s relationship, then the answer would apply to them.
Let’s go...
Whether you are married, in a long term love affair or have been part of a romantic two-some for just a few months... its likely there have been struggles. These fights might be as dramatic and dangerous as physical confrontations, or as subtle as ongoing differences in opinions (friction).
You’re probably going through a rough patch. You think the fight is worthwhile (either to ensure your views prevail, or better still you’re fighting so your relationship prevails). You’re not ready to give up.
Because the 9 of wands is a Stage Card, you need to ask yourself whether the fighting in this relationship is partly ‘for show’. Do you like to add a bit of drama to social events with your verbal sparring? Do you both like a good argument to blow off some stress or even get in the mood for some ‘physical loving’?
If the above applies to you, then the ongoing struggle represented by the 9 of Wands is nothing that really need ever end. If the struggles and fights are serious though, and ongoing, you might want to consider whether there is another way forward? Endless fights mean that one or both of you aren’t really learning. If you want to succeed and not break-up consider other means to tackle your issues.
If the fights are actually physical, you might seriously consider seeking immediate professional advice and/or leave the relationship immediately.
 
Answers to F.A.Q. Specific Questions Given to the Tarot:
Is this relationship going to last? Maybe. You want it to, but you’re not really winning in your efforts to make it so. Try some new actions/conversations.

Can I save my relationship with X? Probably. But it might be an ongoing struggle rather than ‘you win that person over completely and carry on in bliss’.

Can I get them to see my point of view? Maybe. You’ve got the strength to keep pushing for success. But as you’ve been pushing for a while you might need to reconsider your commitment to your point of view. Or perhaps you’re not presenting your view (or listening to your partner) properly?

What does my partner think of me? They feel they are in a constant struggle that is, for now, worthwhile. It’s quite possible they love you, but find you difficult to be with. Or possibly you are unwell and they are glad to care for you but it drains them?

What was my partner’s previous relationship really like? It was a battle and struggle for them, for a long time.

What is the outcome for my relationship with X? It’s 50/50. You’re succeeding in keeping the relationship together, and can do so for an indefinite period, but you’re present efforts are just holding things together, not solving/healing them. Try something else. Get advice.

How can I improve my relationship with my partner? Communicate better. Find a different way to resolve your arguments, because you might be going round and round the same topics again and again. Or you might just be ‘banging heads’ over any issue you disagree on rather than talking constructively.

Is my relationship with X  good for me? The question you have to ask yourself is are the ongoing ‘fights’ minor, or are they damaging you both? What is at the root of the arguments and can you resolve that (perhaps with the help of a counselor)?

How can I become a better partner to my lover? Discover how to move past disagreements better. Certainly, it only takes one person to be the ‘pig headed one’ and it could be your partner. But as YOU asked advice from the Tarot, it is you that need to make the movement (and are probably the one more at fault).

Am I in a healthy relationship with X? You probably fight too much to be in a good relationship. Look to resolve your differences better.
Is my relationship with X almost over? Although the 9 of wands indicates ongoing difficulties, it also shows you have the strength to keep going. You should try better ways to resolve your differences though.

Is X about to dump me? Your partner could be feeling under stress, and tired of the struggle that your relationship entails. But for now they probably wish to keep fighting for the relationship and so you should try to help him find a way for you both to thrive.

Should I get out of this relationship with X? The Nine of Wands shows you have the strength to keep going, but you have to ask whether it is worth it. If the ongoing struggles you are having are minor or can be solved by taking a different tack, then keep with it. If the fights you both have are serious (perhaps even physical) then your courage and determination is probably misplaced. Talk to a therapist/counselor alone for advice, or maybe just pack your bags and leave right now.

Would an ‘open relationship’ for X and I work? A Nine of Wand suggests that an open relationship would lead to conflict and struggle. It might be an ongoing battle to protect your boundaries, or a sense that you have to fight for an equal share of the relationship. The Nine of Wands doesn’t suggest an open relationship would kill your relationship, but it probably wouldn’t be healthy for it.

How can I build trust in my relationship? What happened in the past can taint the future. The Nine of Wands indicates that a lot of persistence will be required to build trust. There will be conflict. Trust might never become easy and total, but if one or both members of the relationship make an ongoing effort, the level trust might be prevented from a downward spiral.

What might happen if I take the relationship to the next step now? The Nine of Wands asks you to be on your guard, to be prepared for ongoing battles that push you to the limit. Does this sound like a possible scenario? I wouldn’t take that next step right now if I were you.
​
Is x ever going to commit? The target of the question is X, and the Nine of cards suggests someone who appears guarded, weary, battle-worn. Is this how X really feels? If so you need to think why that might be. Can you change X’s feelings? For now at least, X doesn’t sound like someone ready to commit.

​

Upright Nine of Wands meaning for questions concerning Broken/Separated Relationships
You’ve got an Ex. The relationship is over or at least stretched to a thread. You’ve already separated, emotionally, even in the unlikely event you still date or live together still physically.  General queries relating to your relationship now, and resulting in a Nine, would justifiably suggest that one or both of you are guarded, weary and battle-worn. However, one or both or you have the strength to continue this battle (perhaps an ongoing divorce settlement, or need to both live in the same house for the time being)?

Here are some ideas for what the Nine of Wands might be hinting to you, drawn after the following FAQ specific queries:

Will I get over my Relationship with X?  It will be a struggle, and the end is not in sight. You are defensive and tired, and are still wounded enough to find new romance difficult. Keep trying though, you have the strength to break free in time.

How best can I get over X: The Nine of Wands themes include resilience, courage, persistence and setting boundaries. These are the qualities you will need to get over X. Be strong, keep going on with your life and your search for love. Don’t expect any sudden miracle or easing of the pain of breaking with X, but know that gradually it will fade. Just persist with your life through the pain, and one day it will be far less.

How can I win back my Ex? With persistence. But X is unlikely to come back anytime soon (not in a permanent manner anyway). Surely there are ‘other fish out there’ that would be better for you. Sometimes the Nine of Wands (especially if reversed) might mean you are persisting in something, where really you shouldn’t.

What will happen if I go back my X? It might last, but there will be conflict as there was before. Don’t expect happiness.

Does X want to get back with me? The Nine of Wand suggests X has got a lot on their plate. That ‘lot’ might be from fights they’ve had with you, or just from excessive difficulties in other areas of their live. At the moment X is not focused on getting back with you.
​
What role did my own issues create in my failed relationship with X?  It’s possible that you ‘blew things out of proportion’ which either led to fights, or increased their severity. Can you tone down the drama in future? Another possibility is that you failed to set correct boundaries with X or with other people. Failing to set proper boundaries with your partner can allow a creeping growth of behavior from them you are not happy with. Failing to set proper boundaries with other people might mean your partner saw you as flirtatious (or far worse) with other people. The Nine of Wands also shows the need for courage and resilience. Is it possible that you didn’t work hard enough at the time to make the relationship work out? Think on these points.
​


Upright Nine of Wands meaning for questions concerning someone who is Single looking for true love.
Key themes of the Nine of Wands could give clues: guarded, boundaries, persistence and courage.
You might have had your heart broken a few times. You might have experience breaches of trust and promises. You are probably wounded by previous relationships. But don’t hide behind barricades.
A person who goes out and approaches potential partners and lovers on a regular basis has more chance of finding that special someone than a person who is guarded and cautious. Whether it is joining social clubs or online dating sites... you’re less likely to find love unless you’re putting yourself ‘out there’.
You need to be persistent, and have the resilience to bounce back from defeats and romantic snubs. Just because one potential knocks you back does not mean to say you are a loser just that you two were not meant to be. If you’re not fun, good-looking, wealthy, popular, deemed-interesting, well –connected, it’s going to be tough. Expect that and you won’t be disappointed. View it as a battle where winning is not in sight, but still possible. Just remember that among all your potential partners, not all those will not fun, good-looking, wealthy, popular, deemed-interesting, well –connected either. Yet, among the millions out there that are not, I’d bet there are some you feel an affinity to. There will be those that you find more attractive than society does, and who have interests/views that are similar to yours.

Keep trying. Bounce back

However, the Nine of Wands can also indicate persistent conflict and/or drama. If you are a person that conflict follows, look carefully inwards and ask why? Do you choose the wrong partners or do you feel the need to make conflict and drama in your relationships? Either of these tendencies will not help you find love.

Below are ideas for possible answers a Nine of Wands might be give specific FAQ questions:

Will I find true love? It’s going to be tough, but keep persisting, and have faith in yourself. True Love is possible.

What can I do to find True Love: Work on your resilience, courage and faith in yourself... and be persistent in taking action to ensure you meet potential new partners.

What can I do to attract true love? Attracting love is different than seeking love. One is more active and the other is more passive. If you are really not the sort of person who can ‘make the moves’ in a relationship and expect others to be the active ones, there are still plenty of good decisions you can make. (1) Ensure you are more often in those places where seekers will find you (clubs, online dating sites, supermarkets, gyms, cafes etc). (2) Give those seekers a ‘chance’ rather than make your mind up early that they are not right for you and being guarded. (3) If you are prone to drama and creating conflict, work on this area and tone it down. (4) Set the correct boundaries so people treat you correctly (5) Persist in all these things and prepare yourself that finding your True Love could be a marathon rather than a sprint but can ultimately be successful. 

How can I stop repeating the same mistakes in love/relationships? Accept your part in the dynamic. A Nine of Wands indicates recurring battles. Repeated wearisome conflict and drama don’t occur in everyone’s relationships. If they’ve occurred in too many of yours, then either you keep picking the wrong sort of person or yourself the creator of drama. Both possibilities require a change from you. Be courageous, admit your own core failings and be persistent in trying to overcome them.
​
How can I attract the best partner for me right now? Be brave. Go out and be where such people might be (in real life or online). Set proper boundaries, but otherwise be open to the possibility that potential partners you meet could be ‘the one’ rather than be guarded and refuse invites or search for any reason not to build a relationship.


Upright Nine of Wands meaning for questions concerning someone who wishes to know how another feels about them.
You wish to know whether the object of your love or crush is a good potential partner. You might have seen this person at work, or on transport or when shopping – but don’t really know much more about them. At best you have indulged in small talk. You don’t really know much more about how they feel about you romantically or sexually. Generally, a Nine of Wands would indicate that that person has conflict going on, some burdens (have they mentioned any difficulties in their life to you?). The struggle in their life is such that they probably are not that interested in you right now, or even if they are don’t have the capacity for a new relationship – right now.

Frequently asked questions:

Is X attracted to me? Maybe, but there is enough going on in their life, right now, for them not to consider doing much about it. Question the Tarot in another month.
​
Is X right for me? Maybe in time they will be good for you. Right now they have a lot going on in their lives and probably are not in the right shape mentally/emotionally to be good for you. Check the Tarot again in a few weeks.
 
What can I do to make X more interested in me? Is it possible you have been wounded from previous relationships? If so, your actions towards X might be guarded and defensive. If you trust X is a ‘good person’ – allow yourself to open up more. Plus, the Nine of Wands calls for resilience. Don’t give up your pursuit because of minor dramas or misunderstandings. 


Do you need a Professional Tarot Card Reading?
You must consider very carefully the question you had in mind when using the tarot, to understand the exact relevance of a Nine of Wands to your situation. For a Video Tarot Card Reading we would recommend you consulting one of the reputable tarot/psychic reading companies recommended on our website – to gain an understanding of your situation from an expert experienced Tarot Card Reader. For a truly unique Celtic Cross Email Tarot Reading... we would of course recommend our own service, which include 'actionable suggestions' to help you try to steer fate.
​
Are Nine of Wands Predictions Predestined?
No. They might represent a possible strand of fate. More importantly, they can give you insight into your own feelings and behaviors. Don't get too hung up over any card you draw.
​
Key Skill Nine of Wands Skill to Learn: Resilience
In the Nine of Wands Card, the man stands guarded and wounded. We don’t know when his battles will end, but he is prepared to go the distance. He has resilience. Resilience is a useful skill for anyone to acquire.
Here’s how you can build resilience:
  • Offload your feelings and worries. Whether it is to a trusted confidant or just writing down all your feelings on paper (and then burning that paper), getting things off your chest regularly will help you deal with them
  •  Practice self-compassion. Don’t beat yourself up. All people make mistakes. All people are imperfect. Bad things happen to everyone at some time or another. Tell yourself you are okay and you accept yourself.
  • Meditate: Take a class. Meditation will give you greater well-being and less reactivity to stress.
  • Cultivate forgiveness: research suggests that it could be beneficial to your mental and physical health
 


Key Nine of Wands Tarot Combinations for Existing Relationships:

Nine of wands and Ace of wands combination: Possible New lease of life to a relationship that had been stuck in conflict.

Nine of wands and two of wands combinations: After a period of conflict, a choice will appear.

Nine of Wands and Three of Wands combination: A Foreign Trip (Vacation) Could help ease Tensions

Nine of Wands and Ten of Wands combination: Ongoing conflicts reach a head, overwhelming you, but a positive end is in sight.

Nine of Wands and Page of Wand: Good News can affect a troubled relationship positively

Nine of Wands and Two of Cups Combination: Harmony will replace a period of Struggle.

Nine of Wands and the Four of Cups Combination: Struggles or Conflict lead you to regret the relationship choices you’ve made.

Nine of Wands and the Six of Cups Combination: An exhausting relationship is being influenced by a past partner.

Nine of Wands and Seven of Cups Combination: Trouble has been brought to your existing relationship because of a new Love interest entering the equation.

Nine of Wands and Eight of Cups Combination: A long grueling relationship will finish with one of you walking out.

Nine of Wands and the Queen of Cups Combination: Now might be a good time to see a counselor to discuss the ongoing issues you have.

Nine of Wands and the Ace of Pentacles Combination: Good financial fortune will help ease your relationship conflicts.

Nine of Wands and the Five of Pentacles Combination: Financial or health Problems can be leading to ongoing conflict in your relationship.   

Nine of Wands and the Five of Swords Combination: Ongoing conflict could lead to violence. Be careful.

Nine of Wands and the Seven of Swords Combination: Deceit and Cheating could lead to conflict and betrayal.

Nine of Wands and the Fool Combination: A desire for Freedom could be the cause of relationship difficulties.

Nine of Wands and The Magician Combination: You have the skills and willpower to heal any relationship conflict

Nine of Wands and the High Priestess Combination: When conflict enters your relationship, your intuition will tell you what needs to be done.

Nine of Wands and the Empress Combination: Conflict can be eased by listening to your feminine side. Also... a pregnancy could help ease relationship conflict

Nine of Wands and the Emperor Combination: Conflict can be eased in your relationship if you can tame inflamed emotions, and focus on the logic of a situation.

Nine of Wands and the Hierophant combination: Relationship conflict can be resolved by seeing a counselor or priest.

 Nine of Wands and the Lovers combination: Conflict can be resolved and a new harmony regained if you find balance within yourself and make the correct decisions.

Nine of Wands and the Chariot combination: Emotions need to be controlled for Relationship conflict to ease.

Nine of Wands and Strength combination: Tame fear and anxiety and to help resolve conflicts in your relationship.

Nine of Wands and the Hermit combination: You need to reflect deeply on your current relationship (maybe even seek a counselor) to help heal any conflict

Nine of Wands and Wheel of Fortune combination: The universe is bringing change to your life, which can help reduce a relationship conflict... if you take advantage of that change at work for it.

Nine of Wands and the Justice combination: Whether a relationship conflict/struggle will be resolved depends on the merits of you and your partner’s behavior.

Nine of Wands and the Hanged Man combination: An ongoing relationship conflict could run you down unless you ‘step outside of the situation’ and look at how to solve it from a different angle.

 Nine of Wands and the Death Card combination: The only way forward for a wearying struggle of a relationship is to make a massive change. Either you transform the way you interact or consider separating.

Nine of Wands and Temperance combination: Ongoing Relationship issues that have drained you will fade as you find your own inner peace and harmony.

Nine of Wands and the Devil combination: Persistent relationship troubles have left you feeling trapped. However, the illusion of powerlessness is an illusion. There is always a positive way forward. Look through the deception and confusion for a way forward (possibly talk to a professional counselor to help you do that).  






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